Acute Stress Disorder

[RADishMOM]

That's what my therapist and psychiatrist, who I see for depression meds, both diagnosed me with, and the psychiatrist is putting me on an anti-anxiety drug.    I see her every three months or so to check in and make sure my meds are keeping my depression at bay; I've been depressed for years from being beaten down by RAD. When I saw her today, she noticed almost immediately that I was fidgeting with my fingers, and when she asked me about things, she noticed I was expressing a lot of fear and anxiety and worry. For example, I have been very anxious about my dd16, and scared for the possibility that she may also develop mental illness like dd18.

The psychiatrist asked me how my kidney function is doing; it's down right now. She asked how my sciatic leg pain is doing; it's been much worse lately. How are my knees? Much more painful lately.  Are you craving high carb, high fat foods lately? Oh yes, been wondering why I suddenly can't seem to get enough of that. She explained to me that my adrenalin gland is pumping all the time when I'm under so much stress, and my body produces cortisol, and that can attack (? Something like that?) the body so we have more aches and pains, etc, and something about that makes the body crave high carb, high fat too...can't remember exactly why but something to do with cortisol, like those ads for weight loss products that talk about cortisol.  Now I understand how depression can make you hurt physically as well as emotionally! I never got that before. So where I was reluctant to go on anti-anxiety meds, now I think it makes sense to me to get my body out of this constant state of anxiety.

Maybe I need to rent that Mel Brooks movie, "High Anxiety"!!! 
JL

[Don M]

Hi RADishMOM;
   I am impressed your psychiatrist was able to match things up quite so well.  Your description is a great example of what some of us have experienced.

   Thank you for reporting this, and yes anything that can get you out of this mode for a while should help.  For me it's often my work which gets overloaded on top of the RADish parenting.  Luckily for me, the work often is something I CAN improve and that lightens the whole picture enough to let me go find a good book or drop someone in a lake (one of the kids, dw, or me).

[RADishMOM]

DonM,
Anything that stresses me on top of RADish stuff can really get to me, and right now it's my Interpersonal Communications class. I am supposed to make a communogram of my family going back to my great-grandparents, and include who was alcoholic, who had high or low self-esteem, who stuffed their emotions, who was a healthy communicatior, who had healthy relationships, etc. What's stressing me about this assignment is that I know nothing about family beyond my own parents and siblings. I have no idea about my grandparents or great-grandparents, or even my aunts and uncles, so I don't know how I'm supposed to complete this assignment. I have put in a message with my teacher for help, but so far, no reply. Aaacckk!

What I do know is that there is a pattern of people not wanting to discuss things, and when someone does ask, people get defensive, upset, and sometimes it ends with people not speaking to each other. I'm not sure what to categorize that as, what behavior I'd call it.....silent treatment? I was apprehensive just to ask my aunt (my mom's only sibling) for information/help for this assignment, since my mom is gone and I have no contact with my dad. This just seems like an impossible assignment for me! No wonder I'm anxious today. 
JL

[greymaster98]

Meds can be a wonderful thing.  Anti-anxiety meds have helped many a friend of mine.  We lead incredibly stressful lives.  Try it.  Give it a reasonable time to see if it works (ask your doctor what reasonable is), if it doesn't work, then you can always stop.  Again, ask your doctor.  Some meds require gradual stopping.

DonM, the genealogist in me, is telling me there is something there that is interesting.  Its amazing what an older generation finds unacceptable to talk about.  It could be something like mental illness  or adoption.  We all know how terrible these things are, NOT.  However, perceptions of these things were different in previous generations.  If its for an assignment though, make it up for any relative that you don't know the answer on.  Your teacher will never know and you won't have to be stressed out.  Or, you could do someone else's family such as your wife if you can find the information out for her parents, grandparents, etc.  Its not worth stressing out over it.  Hang in there.

[justine]

I agree with Grey and think that if you want the assignment to reflect reality that draw out what you do know and include a short essay on the "bottleneck" effect of poor communication.   Your great grandparents could have been blabber mouths  but if YOUR parents were not and they did not have close relationships with THEIR close relatives, then YOUR communication with THEM is affected by that, but does not necessarily affect your communication with others.

In OT school i often got As for simply spelling out what WAS and what is and how that affected the assignment.  THe teachers liked it!   Dont stress! 

[RADishMOM]

Thanks Grey and Justine; it's actually me who's got the assignment, not DonM. I'm basically doing just that, and if I have no idea, I just say I have no information. I don't want to lie, and I think it's unreasonable to know this much information about your great-grandparents, all their children, all their children, all their children, AND all THEIR children. Who knows that much about their family tree? Would any of you know which of your great-grandparents and all your great-aunts and uncles and 2nd cousins and their children, etc., and your grandparents and all your aunts and uncles and 1st cousins and their children, etc. were alcoholics stuffed their emotions, were verbally abused/abusive, etc? Even in a close family, I think that would be difficult, almost impossible in my family where I grew up without much contact with any of the relatives on either side. I only knew my mom's only sister and her family. It's a really tough assignment, and just not what I needed at this time. But I'll get it done; I always do. I've asked my aunt for information, but as I expected, she didn't provide me with much, just some ages at which people died. Nothing about anything personal. Why does that NOT surprise me??? 
Thanks for the encouragement.
JL

[RADishMOM]

Also, can anyone help me find a word to describe that behavior of not wanting to discuss issues in the family and get really offended/defensive if asked about them, or when you confront someone about an issue you're having with them and they get so defensive they blow up at you and then shun you for a long time? I've been wracking my brain trying to come up with a word or phrase that describes it instead of typing up a long explanatory sentence. I've thought of non-communicative, but everyone is communicative is some way, so that's not quite right. Defensive? Stoic? Closed off? Anyone?
JL

[traci]

I've posted this before, but I don't think anyone takes me seriously.
so SERIOUSLY, L-Theanine, take 3 capsules during the day, it is an amino acid naturally found in green tea L-Theanine promotes relaxation without the drowsiness or negative side effects associated with other calming agens. L-Theanine also supports healthy cardiovascular function through this relaxing effect as well as its antioxidant properties. I can be a very anxious person and this REALLY works. For my high cortisol I take Phosphatidyl Serine, I had several cortisol tests done prior to using it, they were very high, then I tool this for 3 months and had my cortisol rechecked and it was normal. I do feel so much better having my coritsol in the normal range. I take 300 mg before bed because my am cortisol was way high. You can take it in the morning if you want to make your evening cortisol lower. Your cortisol is higher in the morning to get you going and gradually drops off during the day so that you can sleep. Phosphatidyl Serine is a phospholipid compound derived from soy lecithin that plays an essential role in cell membrane composition and intercellular communication. Phosphatidyl Serine is a major structural component of neural membranes where it assists in the conduction of electrical impulses  and facilitates the activity of neurotransmitters involved in learning, memory, and MOOD.
I just wanted you to know about these products because they have made me feel SO MUCH BETTER!! Yes, I have taken prescription meds, but I love these products because there are no side effects and they are natural, found in the earth supplements that are good for you.
Take Care,
Traci

[chris28]

I've posted this before, but I don't think anyone takes me seriously.
so SERIOUSLY, L-Thanine, take 3 capsules during the day, it is an amino acid naturally found in green tea L-Theanine promotes relaxation without the drowsiness or negative side effects associated with other calming agens. L-Theanine also supports healthy cardiovascular function through this relaxing effect as well as its antioxidant properties. I can be a very anxious person and this REALLY works. For my high cortisol I take Phosphatidyl Serine,

Thanks, Traci, I am going to get the L-Thanine today. I think my dh and ds will be trying it with me. Lots of changes going on here, and we all know how RADs hate change! I will look into the Phosphatidyl Serine, also.

We've been using therapeutic essential oils here and have found them to be very helpful in calming both ds and myself.

Chris

[RADishMOM]

Thanks, Traci, I am going to ask my psychiatrist about that.
JL

[Geertje]

Hoi RADischMOM
The issues you mention does that not have to do with shame??
Shame
1.   the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another: She was overcome with shame.
2.   susceptibility to this feeling: to be without shame.
3.   disgrace; ignominy: His actions brought shame upon his parents.
4.   a fact or circumstance bringing disgrace or regret: The bankruptcy of the business was a shame. It was a shame you couldn't come with us.
–verb (used with object)
5.   to cause to feel shame; make ashamed: His cowardice shamed him.
6.   to drive, force, etc., through shame: He shamed her into going.
7.   to cover with ignominy or reproach; disgrace.
—Idioms
8.   for shame! you should feel ashamed!: What a thing to say to your mother! For shame!
9.   put to shame,
a.   to cause to suffer shame or disgrace.
b.   to outdo; surpass: She played so well she put all the other tennis players to shame.

[RADishMOM]

Geertje,
I'm sure it has everything to do with shame, especially in that the older generation views some things as shameful to discuss, that nowadays would not be considered a taboo subject. (I think it was blessingsindisguise who described that generational thing in another post.) Alcoholism, mental illness, abuse would all be too taboo and shameful for my older relatives to open up about. But that being said, I don't even know the people in my family tree to put down actual names. I emailed my teacher again, second time, but still no response, and this thing is due by midnight tonight. Where's that pulling my hair out emoticon??
JL

[Geertje]

RADishMOM

Do you know old neighbours from family or churchmembers or anybody from the past who knows somebody from the family??? maybe you can google on familynames? who knows what you can find?
Succes

[traci]

Sorry, I mis typed L-Theanine
I think this one is a good one to start with because it's the same thing you would get from drinking 4 or 5 cups of green tea a day. Very very natural.
Hope it works!!

[trying]

Traci,
I can vouch for the green tea stuff.  I have relatives from S. America and they taught us to love a drink made from yerba leaves.  It has mateine in it.  I've never had a tea that makes me feel as rejuvenated as this tea does.  Even in the hottest weather (like it is where they live) you loose that wilted, cant-do-anything feeling when you pass around the yerba.

Anyway, I bet it is related to the L-Theanine, because it works so well.  We drink it regularly at our house.