JL.....PLEASE dont add to your stress by trying to please us too!
(by sticking to your guns and going away for a week.) I had a late afternoon evening a week, same day, every week that i was "off duty". For 3 years dh did this for me. It was my sanity saver. Life was still so painful with oldest ddrad, but knowing i had that time to myself every Wed. enabled me to be the best mom i could be, despite the rad-attacks.
It was CHEAP too! My younger kids got home around 3pm. I gave them a big dose of mommy. Right before ddrad came home (around 4pm) i went to the library. Dh came home soon after, supervised homework or play, took a shower and headed out with all the kids to a local church around 6pm. (your dh could find a church that has a supper and kids' clubs like my dh did). The church was his "wednesday nite church"... On sundays we went there and our church 50/50 mostly.
The beauty of the church thing was....supper was a donation so dad and mom both got a feed-the-kids break. (and yes, we donated!) Supper was the first hour. Kids went to their groups or sat with dad for wed nite service....which is usually short and light, maybe an hour.
Dh came home with the kids right after....usually around 8:30 pm. He would joke around with them about mom being off duty. The kids could run and give me a big hug and kiss before MOM went to her bedroom...but they werent allowed to ask me for any "mommy" help....only dad. (remember, this was only ONE night a week!)
Little kids had to get ready for bed right away....so the whole evening was busy and dad had a lighter load thanks to the church supper and kid group activities. They would sing and act goofy on the drive back and forth to church....with raddy sulking in the back seat...too bad!
SOOOOOO, my free time was an hour or two between 4 and 6, when i went to the library, sat at a park or went for a walk. "free" free time. Then i came home and popped a stouffer's dinner i would buy ahead of time and hide in the freezer....3.50 to have some "bad" food like chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes!
I still had 2 plus hours to listen to music, watch TV or wow, call a FRIEND without raddd trying to listen in to every word. When kids came home, i got to be happy mom greeting them and letting THEM send ME to bed!
More time.....in my room. But i was prepared with candles, music, books, laptop whatever. I took a looooong shower, knowing that no raddies would be pounding on my door the minute i stepped under the water. (tried once and blasted by super-dad!).
Rad dd sent to bed at 10 pm and dh and i would hang out for another hour of QUIET.
Be creative.....or steal all my ideas. Do what works for you AND dh. Maybe he will like this idea better...or not. And yes, 6 years later i STILL thank my ds periodically for the blessings my wednesday nights were back then. And what a blessing he continues to be. ((((((JL))))))