Causes of Stress

[adsglinda]

I have a thought I'd like to run by everyone and open up for discussion and thought. 


What do you think about the following statement?:

A major cause of stress is the fear that things aren’t turning out the way we need them to.

[artsymominnc]

I would have to agree with that as far as tracing back the roots of my own stress.  As a parent, I think it's pretty typical to have a general plan in mind and to define or measure how well things are going by how closely I'm sticking to "the plan."  I run into my biggest strife when I lose sight of the fact that God's plan may be very different than anything I had in mind.  When I pray, I often ask God for help in discernment so that I can do a better job of matching my will to His.

Liz

When the Holy Spirit controls our lives, He will produce this kind of fruit in us:
Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control.

Galatians 5:22-23

[chris28]

I have a thought I'd like to run by everyone and open up for discussion and thought. 


What do you think about the following statement?:

A major cause of stress is the fear that things aren’t turning out the way we need them to.

A very true statement, at least for me. I'll have to think about this and get back to you.

[karleen]

I would have to say it depends on the definition of 'need'.  If need is defined by our perception (right or wrong) of what we need, then I would probably agree with it.  If need is defined by what is really needed, then I could only partly agree because it would depend on the situation.  When the perception of need is different than the real need, we could easily be happy even though our real needs aren't being met.

[adsglinda]

In that statement, I take "need" to mean the way our minds perceive it at the moment whether it is a real or perceived need.

If our minds perceive it as a "need" and the need is not or will not be met, our bodies would automatically go into a stress response.  If at that point we could and figure out if the need is real or perceived, then we would be able to calm the stress or regroup and come up with a plan to meet that need.

One of the main points that statement says to me is that is shows me how easily we as humans and parents can have stress placed on us and many times not even realize it.

i.e. a parent might have a desire (need) for their children to do well in school.  The child is not doing well in school or has an incident at school today.  Immediately, when the parent gets the call from school the parents body will automatically become stressed even if the parent doesn't realize it at the moment.  It may be such a small amount of stress that it is unnoticeable or it could be a large amount that is noticeable and we might start worrying about our child doing well in school.  Yes, if we can realize we don't "need" our child to do well in school to survive, then we can calm/alleviate the stress it causes us.  We may still want the child to do well in school, but now we have something we can start to learn to accept. 

When we go out to eat and have to decide if we want a baked potato, french fries or tator tots, that places stress on our bodies (it is an automatic response of the nervous system), but the stress it places is but a small amount that we don't notice it or we just deal with it.  We are used to making those kind of decisions, they aren't a big deal.