Chris, I can appreciate all too well the feeling of embarrassment when I realize how badly I am sometimes handling my stress.
Let's face it...it's easier to handle stress when there's less of it to handle, but as the cliche goes, "when it rains, it pours!"
A few weeks ago I felt like things were much more manageable than they've been lately. Homeschooling was going well. I was making time for exercising and personal interests. I was even doing a better job of setting aside quiet time for prayer. Then all of a sudden, life got very "busy" again, and I've had plenty of moments lately when I've wished for a chance to do something over because I know that my own frazzled stress responses just made matters worse.
There are a number of specific stress factors that I'm dealing with...some from a distance and on a more occasional basis...like the fact that my mom's health has not been good and she lives 1,00 miles away. Others are part of the day-to-day grind...like the stresses of homeschooling my two boys. (My 11-year-old bio son is gifted. My 9-year-old adopted son has multiple special needs.) On top of that, my husband's work schedule keeps him away from home 10-12 hours/day, and that makes for some very LONG days if things aren't going well!
The fact of the matter is that when I start slipping in how I'm handling one particular stress, I usually start to have trouble handling them all.
Ironically too, the more I'm trying to make a conscious effort to do something specific to manage my stress, like exercising, the more stressed I feel when something is getting in the way of my being able to maintain that effort. That's not good...but that's kind of where I find myself lately.
I need a vacation so badly, and ironically, I had scheduled a whole week of vacation time from our homeschooling routine the week of October 8-12. It turned out to be a very stress-filled week. My younger son never deals well with "vacation." The more I tried to sell the idea that this was a good thing, the more I felt like I should be apologizing for putting him through the week of play time because he was dysregulated about anything and everything that I did or didn't do.
We're back to the school routine again this week, and it's been another rough week because he had to deal with a Cub Scout outing to a corn maze Tuesday night, and then it was my older son's birthday this past Thursday. We spent the day traveling to the Pisgah National Forest where there's an education center that does programs for kids. We attended a class about monarch butterflies. It had all the potential to be a nice family day, but for days leading up to it, younger son was a mess! The trip..the attention his brother was getting...the change in routine...etc. Yesterday got off to a rough start trying to get back to school again...but we eventually managed to pull it off. School work is done for another week.
I guess my point continues to be that nothing about stress management is easy. I am all too aware that if I am not handling my stress well, I can't expect to be much help to my younger son when he's dysregulated. Sometimes it boils down to recognizing that I really have to deal with
my stress first even if it means ignoring his for a while....which isn't easy!
My time is up....another day begins. I'm going to try to make it a good one.
Liz
