Malina
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King/Queen
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« Reply #15 on: January 01, 2010, 03:00:35 PM » |
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Happy New Year, PaKettle! Thanks for writing!
I think you are right. DD11 is being treated for anxiety disorder and she also has OCD which seems like maybe it is getting worse (more compulsive behaviors are being exhibited in the last few months....tearing her clothes, taking things apart).
I think finding a therapist to coach me through this transition with DD17 will be my goal for the new year. Have no idea how I will pay for it. But, I am sure I will go nuts, or I will drive my few friends I have left nuts, or I will drive this board nuts, if I don't! lol
I need some support. I need someone I can go to for a reality base, for strategies, and maybe just to document everything in case anything ever happens to me.
Another mom here said a therapist told her her dd would be diagnosed sociopath. I looked it up and there was my DD17! I am not qualified to diagnose her, of course, but I truly believe this is probably what she is. Not a violent one, but a smooth-talking, calculating, manipulative one. I think I represent to her all the mothers who abandoned and abused her before she met me. Her birthmother who died, the grandmother who died, the aunts who abused and mistreated her, and the stepmother who threatened to kill her and drove her away from her home (I always suspected that woman could not cope with the child's behavior and is why she did that). If my theory is true, my daughter gets her jollies by coming up with ways to cause me pain in either small or large ways, spends her time plotting how to destroy my life. There is plenty of evidence to support this theory, but mostly only if you are me.
How will I ever find a therapist who gets this? It sounds so crazy. They will probably want to put me on some kind of paranoia medication, especially if they ever meet my beautiful, charming, sweet daughter.
As far as giving her the boot on her 18th birthday, she is keeping me in the dark regarding her plans. I have tried to be loving and supportive and let her know repeatedly that she has a home here as long as she wants it, that I hope she will stay and finish high school. I am sure she has a plan, whether to leave or stay, but she won't tell me what it is. I do not want to go back on my word to her. That is not who I am. And I have spent the last 10 years of my life trying to prove my trustworthiness to this child. It goes against everything in me to take those words back. But, I also realize that in order to preserve myself and my other daughter that I may have to. I can only anticipate if she does stay here after the birthday that things will only get worse and not better.
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