Have had it with counselors!!!

[Denise]

I just need to vent so please excuse me...

I have what I have deemed "Dr. Feel Good" counseling my children. Please remember two have been diagnosed RAD and now they believe that ds8 is also. Oh what a joy. Back to Dr Feel Good, he jumped all over me the other day stating that I was stunting my children's growth by not giving them choices. I told him that I had been counseled by my ICPC social worker who is a mother of a ds19 RAD. He continued to tell me that what I was doing with my children was only further pushing them into their behaviors. This is the same man who told me that my ds4 and ds9 are emotionally 6mo and 18mo respectively. As I remember while raising my other children I do not ever remember asking my infant what he/she wanted to do or where to go and expected an answer or for me to do what they want. So now I am to allow my children to dictate my life. Last time I checked, I am still the adult in this family and not only that but I believe that many children, who do not have our children's problems, have too much control over their parents. I have worked with several children who have been allowed to make the decisions for their parents. Look around at the world, you think it is working for us? 

This counselor is constantly telling me that I need to do something else because I am too much of a perfectionist. He told me that I do not know how to raise these children and that I need to stop listening to "those people on your forum". I have a few choice words for him but this is a family channel Not only has he never dealt with RAD children, he also refuses to do any current training or reading on how to deal with them. He told me I was filling my head with out dated information and techniques. Thank goodness he will no longer be in charge of my children's case after the first of the year. I do not think I can take much more of his "help".

Thanks for listening to me and for giving me the right information and help in caring for my boys!!!!!!

Denise

[Truebluemom]

((((((Denise))))))))  It's not bad enough you have to deal with OD kids, now the therapist is acting like one too!!  Glad you're getting a fresh start.  Hope the next one goes better.  I think the adage "Sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs until you find a prince." could be applied here.  It was true for us.

[rapunzel44]

Yep, I too hope the next one will be better..... I have found counsellors not helpful at all. You really need one who is knowledgeable about RAD. Otherwise, it makes everything worse.

I also found myself not telling those people a lot about my life. I never told them about this forum. This was MY place, my safe haven. Nobody else was allowed here.

[MaKettle]

Even with a good therapist nothing will change unless your little Radishes are willing to work at it.  My DD15's psychiatrist keeps telling me that she needs to be back in therapy.  I keep saying that I'll be happy to take her when she is ready & willing to go.

[PaKettle]

Denise,

You need to 'fire' "Dr. Feel Good" and warn others about him.  It doesn't sound like he is helping any.  Since you're bringing RADlets to him and he refuse to believe or do any research on RAD, he is an idiot.  He isn't helping the kids and obviously he isn't helping you.  Your radlets will love him because is is so good....

When Ma and I (mainly Ma - she's the one with the brains and looks too, I just bring humor and emergency room visits to the marriage) figure it out, we switched therapists.  DD was upset, gave us all kinds of excuses.  Eventually, some time later, (a year or two) Ma said to her, "You just liked going to XXX because she believed everything you said."  DD got one of those smirks.

 

[Denise]

PaKettle,

You are exactly right. I am trying hard to fire him. Unfortunately, my hands are tied by the lovely CPS sytem in my state. I have whinned, cried, screamed, complained, anything that I can do to get attention from the right people. I think that I finally got their attention when I told them to come and get my little darlings. Amazing how that worked
It is supposed to get done in the next week.. so they tell me. I will believe it when I see it. The RAD counselor has been highly recommended and she is completely on board. Just waiting for the paperwork to go through. Got to love the government involvement.

Thank you all for your support!!!

Denise

[crew]

Hang in there.  When my dd's came home we went to one counselor and than another.  All they ever said was what I needed to do.  Honestly I could not do more than I was already doing.  Finally my last counselor said my kids were more than she understood and referred us to Dr. Keck.  He has an office in our town.  That is our good luck.  After the first session I knew we were at the right place.  It was no longer what I could but what was my dd willing to do to get better.  She can not use her sweet ways on them because they have already seen it.  I am not saying this is the answer but boy it felt good to have someone stand up for me and know that I am a good parent.  I think you will know if this person is right for you with in ten minutes.  Good luck and I am sure you are a good parent.

[DeborahO]

I've been to my share of idiot counselors myself. One insisted I attend parenting classes. Went one time. The only other parent there was a young, illiterate woman to was forced to attend in order to get custody back of her infant child who was taken from her do to neglect and abuse. Had a psychologist once prescribe Adderall for my ds when I told him about his eating disorder. (He was more that 100 lbs. over weight). He said that it would "curb his appetite". My son is not ADHD. He was born crack addicted. Nothing like giving him another addiction to get over.