Lost my dad

[Jeannie]

My dad died this afternoon.  He was 80 years old, and had Parkinson's disease for the last 8 or so years.  I loved him deeply.  My mother and five siblings and I were all able to be with him today.  We stood around his bed, wept and said our goodbyes, prayed, and even sang.  His breathing was labored for a time, then became more and more shallow and finally stopped.  He seemed at peace.  It was a good ending.... but a hard day.

My DS11 back home is going to be struggling with this.  So are my bios and DH.  The funeral is tentatively scheduled for this Friday.  Please pray for grace for us all this week.

[clbmom]

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Jeannie.  I wish there was something more I could say or do to comfort you.  Having lost one dear parent three years ago, I have some idea what you're going through.... 

I hope your memories of your father and your experiences together will comfort and sustain you during this difficult time.  Know that we will indeed be lifting up your family and you as you have requested.

Warmly wishing you comfort and peace, Hugs.

[blessingsindisguise]

I am so sorry for your loss.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

blessings

[Bizzziemom]

So sorry for your loss.   Hope you and yours find peace during this time to deal with the stress a week like this brings leading up to a funeral. 

[justine]

So sorry for your loss Jeannie and so blessed to read you were all together and with him when he died.   That is amazing and truly a gift to be treasured.   Prayers here.   Loving dads are a treasure not easily lost. 

[MaKettle]

So very sorry Jeannie.  No matter how old we are it's so hard to lose our Dads.
Prayers & hugs from here.

[Kathleenb]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Jeannie, and I'm sorry that this time can't be "simple" for you, allowing you to focus "simply" on your own grief and the necessary arrangements. But nothing's ever simple with an attachment-challenged child, is it?

Do your best to fit in some "PM" (preventive maintenance) time with your son - assume his emotional age is going to be quite young this week. Give him some snuggle time, even if he thinks he's too big for it and you tell him that it's for YOUR benefit. Keep telling him he's safe, you're healthy, and you're not going anywhere. If he wants a nightlight or wants to sleep in a sleeping bag on your floor, this might be the time to permit it. Go with your gut - but stop, breathe, feel, think before you jump to conclusions about what your gut is telling you! ;-)

And know that you will make "mistakes" in all this - it's a stressful time and it's too hard to even know what's the right thing to do in every circumstance, much less do it! Give yourself some grace. Know that a big part of relationship building is rupture and repair - so if you make a "mistake," count it all good - it's a great opportunity to work on the "repair" step! And, in the end, "good enough" parenting is, indeed, good enough.

[neitlingme]

I lost my father after an extended illness too.   I knew it was coming also.

I ask you to realize this...that right now, while all the arrangements are happening and friends/loved ones are all around, you will somehow plow ahead.  Sure you'll grieve, but much won't be realized yet, as you've been preparing for this day for a long time.

Be careful of the days ahead--  weeks, months.  That's when MY grief hit.  After the flurry surrounding the funeral was gone, and the regularity of visiting him was no longer there.  That's when it struck.

Don't be blindsided.  Be ready for it.  Ask for guidance from He who leads us all!

My heart pours out for you, and your family in this your time of grief.

I'm thinking of you.

((((Jeannie))))

[bijou]

Thinking and praying for you, Jeannie, and your family, in the passing of your father.  May the Lord comfort you during this time of grief.

[AlsoDad]

So sorry for your loss Jeannie  

When my dad passed, there were sooo many people who knew and respected him and his family that I thought I would never hear the end of "If there's anything I/we can do....". It's such a helpless feeling for both parties, as they both know there really isn't anything that can be done. When the statement was made by someone very close to me, the appropriate response just fell out of my mouth, dunno where it came from:

"That's good to know".

Wow, the feeling of helplessness melted away from both of us and I could actually feel the person's concern. Those people had been "doing whatever they could" and it took that statement for me to realize it.

[MissB]

Jeannie, I'm sorry you are having to go through this. May you and your family find peace and healing.

[sandramomof4]

hugs n prayers

[Cher]

So very sorry for you family's loss, dear one.

You are so lucky to have been with him to the end.  What a blessing.

Prayers and hugs to get you thru the coming days and months............

[kbdy]

(((Jeannie))) I'm so sorry. You & your family are in my thoughts & prayers.

[anne]

So sorry, Jeannie.  I just read this now, don't know how I missed it.  It was a blessing to be there with your Mom and siblings, but I know you miss him so very much.  Dads are just so very important.

Prayers from here for your family that God will bless all of you, when you are ready, with treasured memories and sweet remembrances.
 
anne