Jeannie
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« on: February 13, 2012, 11:56:53 PM » |
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My dad died this afternoon. He was 80 years old, and had Parkinson's disease for the last 8 or so years. I loved him deeply. My mother and five siblings and I were all able to be with him today. We stood around his bed, wept and said our goodbyes, prayed, and even sang. His breathing was labored for a time, then became more and more shallow and finally stopped. He seemed at peace. It was a good ending.... but a hard day.
My DS11 back home is going to be struggling with this. So are my bios and DH. The funeral is tentatively scheduled for this Friday. Please pray for grace for us all this week.
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Bio-daughters 30 & 28, bio-son now in heaven, dear son 14 (healing from alphabet soup disorder)
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clbmom
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« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2012, 01:37:16 AM » |
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I'm so very sorry for your loss, Jeannie. I wish there was something more I could say or do to comfort you. Having lost one dear parent three years ago, I have some idea what you're going through....
I hope your memories of your father and your experiences together will comfort and sustain you during this difficult time. Know that we will indeed be lifting up your family and you as you have requested.
Warmly wishing you comfort and peace, Hugs.
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blessingsindisguise
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« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2012, 07:18:52 AM » |
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I am so sorry for your loss.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
blessings
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courage does not always roar. sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "i will try again tomorrow". mary anne radmacher
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Bizzziemom
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« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2012, 07:29:23 AM » |
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So sorry for your loss. Hope you and yours find peace during this time to deal with the stress a week like this brings leading up to a funeral.
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justine
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The voice of reason....gone amok
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« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2012, 07:33:26 AM » |
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So sorry for your loss Jeannie and so blessed to read you were all together and with him when he died. That is amazing and truly a gift to be treasured. Prayers here. Loving dads are a treasure not easily lost.
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bio dd35 freakishly sweet bio ds32 recklessly loving bio ds27 frightfully kind adopted sibling group at ages 10, 6 and 4 worstrad30 adopted at age 10, left family at age 18 ads27 FAE/rad, we're still looking for a conscience, estranged add24 P/A Rad. Unattached, wants the family bene
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MaKettle
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« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2012, 07:50:34 AM » |
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So very sorry Jeannie. No matter how old we are it's so hard to lose our Dads. Prayers & hugs from here.
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Lord, Fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff & shut it when I've said enough. Amen
3 bio sons & Rad DD
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Kathleenb
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Coach and trainer
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« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2012, 07:56:11 AM » |
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I'm so sorry for your loss, Jeannie, and I'm sorry that this time can't be "simple" for you, allowing you to focus "simply" on your own grief and the necessary arrangements. But nothing's ever simple with an attachment-challenged child, is it?
Do your best to fit in some "PM" (preventive maintenance) time with your son - assume his emotional age is going to be quite young this week. Give him some snuggle time, even if he thinks he's too big for it and you tell him that it's for YOUR benefit. Keep telling him he's safe, you're healthy, and you're not going anywhere. If he wants a nightlight or wants to sleep in a sleeping bag on your floor, this might be the time to permit it. Go with your gut - but stop, breathe, feel, think before you jump to conclusions about what your gut is telling you! ;-)
And know that you will make "mistakes" in all this - it's a stressful time and it's too hard to even know what's the right thing to do in every circumstance, much less do it! Give yourself some grace. Know that a big part of relationship building is rupture and repair - so if you make a "mistake," count it all good - it's a great opportunity to work on the "repair" step! And, in the end, "good enough" parenting is, indeed, good enough.
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I survived 2 bio's and 4 adopteds, all now adults Therapeutic parenting coach & trainer Integrated Healing practitioner Rhythmic Movement Training My web site: attachmentandintegrationmethods DOT com Twitter: AttachIntegrate
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neitlingme
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One tiny step at a time...
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« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2012, 08:20:58 AM » |
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I lost my father after an extended illness too. I knew it was coming also.
I ask you to realize this...that right now, while all the arrangements are happening and friends/loved ones are all around, you will somehow plow ahead. Sure you'll grieve, but much won't be realized yet, as you've been preparing for this day for a long time.
Be careful of the days ahead-- weeks, months. That's when MY grief hit. After the flurry surrounding the funeral was gone, and the regularity of visiting him was no longer there. That's when it struck.
Don't be blindsided. Be ready for it. Ask for guidance from He who leads us all!
My heart pours out for you, and your family in this your time of grief.
I'm thinking of you.
((((Jeannie))))
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Insanity is hereditary--you get it from your kids!
2 Bio sons 7 & 9-sweetpeas DN17- ADHD, RAD, Bipolar and possibly FAE SS21-sweetpea (ok, at HKU) with some attachment issues due to divorce--currently enrolled in HKU
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bijou
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mama bear
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« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2012, 09:10:15 AM » |
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Thinking and praying for you, Jeannie, and your family, in the passing of your father. May the Lord comfort you during this time of grief.
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My life is blessed by all of you.
mom to several dd with RAD/some form of adult PD (BPD,NPD,ASPD?)-30's
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AlsoDad
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« Reply #9 on: February 14, 2012, 09:29:15 AM » |
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So sorry for your loss Jeannie When my dad passed, there were sooo many people who knew and respected him and his family that I thought I would never hear the end of "If there's anything I/we can do....". It's such a helpless feeling for both parties, as they both know there really isn't anything that can be done. When the statement was made by someone very close to me, the appropriate response just fell out of my mouth, dunno where it came from: "That's good to know". Wow, the feeling of helplessness melted away from both of us and I could actually feel the person's concern. Those people had been "doing whatever they could" and it took that statement for me to realize it.
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MissB
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« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2012, 10:00:45 AM » |
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Jeannie, I'm sorry you are having to go through this. May you and your family find peace and healing.
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Mother to SD14, but prefer to call her DD; who is healing!
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sandramomof4
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« Reply #11 on: February 14, 2012, 11:36:29 AM » |
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hugs n prayers
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Cher
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« Reply #12 on: February 14, 2012, 12:13:40 PM » |
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So very sorry for you family's loss, dear one. You are so lucky to have been with him to the end. What a blessing. Prayers and hugs to get you thru the coming days and months............
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1= AGD 22,ODD&RAD&BPD&CUTTER&FAE, SUICIDAL,DRUG ABUSER & DRUNK. 1= AGD24, DEPRESSION, DIGESTIVE STRESS Dx, EX-SWP ASTRANGED. BIO SIS TO AGD22. 1 AD40 METH ABUSER 1 AD42 DRUNK, METH/ DOM. VIOL. BIO MOM OF DGD22 AND DGD24. DS32 & DD43 NO ISSUES. 8 OTHER GRNDS/6 GRT GRNDS (UNKNOWN)
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kbdy
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« Reply #13 on: February 14, 2012, 07:53:11 PM » |
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(((Jeannie))) I'm so sorry. You & your family are in my thoughts & prayers.
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Bio-mom to:
RAD Dd 19 Dd 15 Ds 11
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anne
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Just breathe!
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« Reply #14 on: February 16, 2012, 07:17:55 PM » |
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So sorry, Jeannie. I just read this now, don't know how I missed it. It was a blessing to be there with your Mom and siblings, but I know you miss him so very much. Dads are just so very important. Prayers from here for your family that God will bless all of you, when you are ready, with treasured memories and sweet remembrances. anne
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"Good question! Next Question! "His grace is sufficient...always strength comes for the task." "Hope on, Hope ever!" "I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to!" Darlins are bio sibs -Dd20 (RAD, GAD-NOS, PTSD, Bipolar? ABC?), Ds18 (AD,CP,PDD-NOS,PTSD); adopted at 6 and 3.5 yr
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