Trauma Headquarters and ADSG

So we didn't do this the "normal" way....we went thru an adoption agency expecting an infant when bm called up our agency and decided to place her little 3yo girl for adoption and selected us to parent her.  We were told that bf was a deadbeat dad, had never played any role in her life and never paid child support.  Today was supposed to be the interlocutory hearing to terminate his rights (he wasn't even going to be present). But everything's changed in the five months since placement.  Turns out he hasn't paid any child support but he HAS played some role in her life....and bm (borderline personality disorder, we think) was manipulating the situation to hurt him and didn't care if dd3 got caught in the crossfire.  He is now contesting the adoption.....but he is NOT in a position to parent her.

So instead of an interlocutory, today our lawyer and bf are meeting with the judge and they will decide whether he has the right to contest----I don't understand any of this, but today is important and I am terrified that after 5 months of hard work on attachment, our dd3 is going to be ripped out of our home, or subjected to years of uncertainty along with painful custody battles.  All of this will be determined this morning. If you could pray for us, for bf, for our lawyer, and especially our little dd3, we'd really appreciate it.

What a hard day :(  Praying for all of you!

My husband was once in the situation of the biofather. I pray that the right decision is made to give this child the best life possible to make her happy and heal.