Trauma Headquarters and ADSG

My oldest son, he is 20, has court twice today. he has pre-trial for the three charges he got about 3 weeks ago. They are all misdemeanor offenses. the most serious is shoplifting, which he did do. he is charged with assault but he did not hit anyone just tried to run away. Maybe that will be dismissed. the third is for harboring a juvenile who had a warrant and was a runaway. he said he didn't know and that is required to prove guilt, so maybe he can get that dropped too.

But, he has court in the afternoon for three new charges. It's just arraignment but one may be a felony. Two were related to a women in his apartment who went to the bathroom and shot up heroin and passed out, striking her head and gashed it open. He called the paramedics and the police showed up too. they charged him, not her. My friend was talking to him and she said he wasn't high and was acting normal. he said he didn't know she would use in his apartment. The needle, which the police found, belonged to her but they charged my son. they also charged him with an unruly house. But, one charge, permitting drug abuse, could be a felony. That one worries me. Th state has to prove he knew she was using and that will be tough unless she testifies, which she won't because then she has to admit she was using, which he knew, and that would cause her to get charged for using heroin, which is a felony. So, not sure what the evidence is but mostly just praying for my son.

he is supposed to report to a drug rehab next Friday and hopefully be admitted that day. I pray he does and that it matters to him to quit this time. I spent a fortune for his year long drug rehab and he never wanted to quit so he went right back within a few months of coming home. I pray he is sincere and that he stops using before it kills him. My friend is going to court with him and taking him to the rehab place. I am paying for the rental car so she can get him there safely. Her van isn't very reliable.

Thanks again for the prayers for him. It will be a tough day.

Sherrie

Sherrie, I pray this is his 'wake-up call'.  It seems so unfair for him to be charged, but he probably doesn't need to be told it's not fair, but needs to take responsibility.  Praying for a true repentant heart in him.

Praying.

Just seeing this now....hope it went well....as in, what is best for him in the long run!   :nike:

Well, he pled to the theft (shoplifting) and the other two charges were reduced. No jail time and just court costs and fines. he wasn't even put on probation and could get the records expunged in a year, if he stays out of trouble.

On the arraignment I guess the other two were charged, at least the husband whose wife used heroin and passed out. But, I do not know what will happen when he goes back to court. At least there were no felony charges so maybe he can get a decent attorney to fight the charges he doesn't deserve.

My friend said he was complaining because he got charged and had to plead to the theft and such. Thankfully, she being the great mom she is, reminded him he chose to shoplift and run from the police. I am anxious to hear the details at church tomorrow.

But, mostly I am praying he actually goes to rehab and makes it work this time. Then the rest fo this stuff will go away when he stops using.

Thanks for the prayers. I know God is still hoping he comes back to Him.

Sherrie

Well at least someone else is keeping an eye on him.

Sounds like a pretty good outcome all around.  Perhaps this is his wake up call.

We can hope!

Well, my dear son called and wanted to come here to visit for a few days because he is heartbroken over his last girl he dated and who broke up with him. She is a not loyal, not that he is either, but she is also only 17 and very immature, even more so then him.

So, I picked him up and brought him here. He slept the whole drive home and besides getting up long enough to burn bacon overnight and smoke cigarettes he has slept since we got home. He is supposed to go to the drug rehab place on Friday so I am hoping I get through the next 3 days with him. Mt friend is picking him up today and will entertain him all afternoon.

My youngest, thankfully, is back to school toady. So, I will do some attorney stuff and relax a little.

Sherrie

Praying that you get through the next couple of days without incident and that he agrees to go to rehab. That's great that you have a friend who will babysit.

Egad.  And secretly you are waiting for 'the bad thing' to happen.  '

Bleh.  Bleh.  Bleh.

Well, my dear son decided that he will lecture me about why I had my youngest son charged for threatening to kill me. Which is not true. the sheriff deputy filed the report and the prosecutor charged him, I didn't do anything except request a report. So, it then deteriorated into my dear son complaining about what a lousy childhood he had and what a lousy mom I was because I yelled at him too much and I should have just let him do whatever, that is what I should now do with my youngest, then maybe he would not want to kill me.

So, I got very angry and yelled at him for awhile and he acted like the Cheshire cat because my friend was here for the whole episode. She never said a word but for my son he had an audience. I assured him that he will never set foot in my home again to stay at all. Which is actually where the argument started because he suggested he could live here and keep my youngest son on track. I emphasized that he is never living here, ever again. He was "sad" because I said that and he just meant he could be so helpful. I also asked him about numerous incidents where he threatened to or actually harmed me, because he brought one up since he felt like the victim. But, in every one he denied anything happened like I said and he blamed me for taking the threats seriously because I shouldn't be afraid of a child. he then shared that maybe my youngest will kill me and implied that was what I deserved.

So, two more days and he leaves Friday morning and I do not care what he does with his life. He hasn't done much so far and that was his choice. He keeps lying and not accepting the truth that is his choice. I reminded him he could leave now but oh poor baby had no where to go. Well, he will not be here again. I do not need that level of disrespect nor do I need him acting like he was so mistreated in my home. He still doesn't get how the real harm originated and thinks he is perfectly normal.

sad, but maybe he will grow up some day and get respect. I am more inclined to believe he will just go to jail and repeat that process over the rest of his life. he seems unable or unwilling to ever look at himself as the problem.

Thanks for praying. At least I didn't do anything worse then yell.

Sherrie

How infuriating! It sounds so familiar. Just like the bd of my children.

At least this experience can assure you that you did all that you could and if he fails, it is on him.

((((((((Sherrie)))))))))))
Sounds like he was testing the waters to see if he could stay, and did it in a really awful way.  It amazes me every time how these kiddos keep detailed records of all the hurts and injustices done to them, but are oblivious to what they do to others.  These kiddos just don't get how their behaviour/choices wears us to the bone and how they are destroying relationships.  They can't and they won't see it.  Doesn't make it any easier though and we berate ourselves because we've reached our limits and yelled.  Guilt is best filed under 'g' for garbage.  We are human and when we are capable and know better, we do better.  Your son has so much healing and growing to do.  Please, take care of yourself in all this.
 :coffee2: :coffee2:
anne

My son is still struggling. he has court in Lima tomorrow but I am not sure if he is still in Columbus or back in Lima. he managed to get a ride to Columbus for what reason I don't know but then claimed his friends left him there while he went for a walk. he used to go to Columbus daily to run drugs and buy drugs so I am skeptical of his explanation. But, I told him he could not spend the night here. After the last time I can't have him here again and that breaks my heart too.

He tried every guilt trip he could to get me to let him stay but I said NO.

I wished I knew if he was still ok. My friend is supposed to take him to court in the morning. She has not heard from him either. That is even scarier because he always talks to her.

So, please pray for his safety. I worried that my decision to turn him away was wrong.

Sherrie

Praise God, while I was typing this my son called my friend and said he is back in Lima. She is taking him to get a food card in the morning before she takes him to court. At least he is safe and maybe he will think before doing something so dumb again.

Of course, I am not sure I will ever hear from him anytime soon, but at least he is safe.

I did send him about $100 in groceries with my friend. I know he will be able to eat for a few weeks anyway.

Thank God!

Sherrie