Trauma Headquarters and ADSG

Please pray for MamaBee1. Her husband passed away yesterday. I know she is handling it well but her kids have some struggles and she will have many things hit her as well.

Please lift her and her whole family up during this difficult time.

She is an amazing mom, wife and Christian.

MamaBee1

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Here is hugs across the miles. I pray for some calm so you can grieve and help your little ones do the same in their own way.

Mama bee,

My prayers and thoughts are with you.  I am so very sorry .  Please know that God is with you and your family in your time of sorrow.
Trust in Him to guide you in ways to work with the children through this awful time.

Thanks Sherrie, for posting this. Thank you shroon and Cher for your kind thoughts and prayers.

I wanted to let people know first that I am doing better with my cancer. I haven't needed a transfusion in 6 weeks. My hemoglobin got up to 7.7 and I was very excited and prayed that it would go up to 8. The next week it was up to 9.6 and I was elated.
Two weeks ago I had a ct scan and it showed "no signs of the disease advancing" which was great news. This week the doctor is starting me on another 12 weeks of chemo. It is supposed to not be as hard to tolerate as the last one because this one is given weekly instead of once every 3-4 weeks. Please pray that the doctor knows what he is doing. He changed his plan three times, as I sat there in his office. He then asked me if it sounded good to me. I told him that I knew nothing about treating cancer. He replied that it was kind of like buying a new car. At that point I tuned out since it sounded crazy to me. I am just trusting that God is healing me.

One of the side effects I am experiencing from the chemo is swollen feet, ankles and lower legs. It is a pain and if anyone would like to pray that it would subside, that would be great. I have more energy, but can't stand too long since my feet are a mess.

I am doing well so far with my dh death. He had been sick with different health issues for a long time. It was easier to ignore some of it while he was alive, but now in retrospect it makes more sense. At the end, the pain meds he was on were making him say awful things and it was a relief that he was finally able to pass away. He had not eaten more than a bite or two each day in weeks. He also wasn't drinking.  Knowing that his pain and struggles are over is a big relief to me.

My children are all reacting in different ways which is like whack a mole.  So many people are praying for me that I am feeling  calm most of the time.

Thanks again for the prayers and concern.

Mama Bee
I am so sorry for your loss.

Mama Bee, I am so sorry.  I understand the relief of him not hurting anymore, but the loss will come to you.  I pray your peace will remain and that God gives you the endurance to take care of your kiddos during this ordeal and on after.  Hugs to you and many, many prayers.

I am lifting up your family in prayer, MamaBee.  (hug)

(((hugs)))

I am so sorry, MamaBee.  Praying for you.

I'm so sorry, mamabee. I can't imagine your sorrow. Praying for you all.

Thank you everyone. I am still hanging in there. My oldest dd took the three younger dd over to her house for the night. I am getting another break from the children with my weekly hospital appt. tomorrow.

Thank you for the prayers. I have things that happen that make me cry, but I  am still feeling at peace about this and not tormented with regrets or overwhelmed with sadness.

 

Prayers and hugs for you, MamaBee1.  It was 2 years ago on July 27 that my husband passed.  He had been in declining health for 5 years.  Pain, and the meds used to treat it, changes a person or at least lowers the self-control we all use to control the uglier aspects of our human nature.   

I understand the relief you are feeling now, it will help you get through the next few weeks.  I also understand the tears that flow at any moment, when you remember things only he and you shared, or remember things planned and never came to be.

Remember, God hears our prayers and gives us what we need. Sometimes we need to tell the people around us what we need because they hear God telling them to be available but don't know what to do.  They are also grieving for you. 

I will pray for peace and comfort for you, and for your children to process this loss and come to a fuller understanding of family and the love within the family that brings us closer.

MamaBee

I was wondering how you are doing? You have a lot going on and I was hoping you have some calm.

I am so sorry for your loss. Prayers of healing for your family.

Thanks everyone. I went back to the doctor today and I started the new chemo which I thought was happening last week. It hasn't been too bad yet. Usually the third day is when it hits the worst. My hemoglobin is up to 11.8. I feel better than I have felt in at least a year. I wear a mask on my mouth 90% of the time when I am out. My doctor asked me why I was wearing it. I told him that I didn't want to get sick.He told me that I didn't need it and to stop or people would think I was crazy. I told him that I already am according to the many people who told me not to adopt our sibling group of five. He said that was different. That was an act of kindness not insanity. I am still wearing it. My trusty nurse thought it was a good idea considering all the people coming in and out of my house and the five kids. So I will continue. The 20 something guy from the cafeteria brought me my lunch and saw my bald head and my wig sitting beside me. I had taken it off because it was too hot. He asked why I wear it. I told him because I think it makes me look sexy. :laughing6: :laughing6: :laughing6: The overweight, bald, senior citizen is a hot mama! I think he believed me.

 A woman from my church watched my five kids all day today. She took them blueberry picking and let them swim and fish in her pond. She also had a barn full of bunnies that her nephews are raising. She taught the kids a lot about caring for them. My daughter was thrilled in catching the biggest fish that had been seen this summer in the pond. It was a whopping six inches long, I would guess. :laughing6: My youngest made it through the whole day without any messes in his pants. That was one of the best things that happened all week. They were so tired when they got home, most of them fell asleep early. So overall it was a great day.

Tonight I was trying to read aloud to the kids and the youngest was being a pain in the neck. I started with all my negative unenforceable threats. Then I realized he might need attention. One of the girls ran and got him some aloe gel for his sunburn and put it on him.  I suggested that he might like pretzels and carrot sticks since they are crunchy and he can bite down hard on them. Another sister ran and got them. I told him that when he grows up he needs to marry a woman who will wait on him hand and foot since he is the baby and has five older sisters who do that for him. One of the girls commented with a giggle that his wife will have to wipe his bottom. I said he can marry a nurse who works for a proctologist or a proctologist. She would be happy to help him. The giggler and the oldest didn't know what that was so I told them to look it up. They were grossed out which made me laugh. I guess I am evil. >:D, but it is more fun to laugh some of the time than cry.

I have been praying for my oldest bio son who is having a terrible time with my illness and his father's death. Tonight he messaged me apologizing for some of his behavior. I then remembered that I am one of four women he knows who have been diagnosed with breast cancer in the past year. One of the others, a young woman in her 30's passed away suddenly this spring and another seems to have had a much less satisfactory time with her treatment than I am having. I forgot how frightening this must be for him. Prayers for him would be wonderful.

Thank you all for your concern and prayers. I can feel it in the calmness that is with me most of the time. ( Especially now while the angels are asleep.)

MamaBee

I am so happy to see you are doing well. You amaze me. Your post was inspiring to me. I have fallen into a bit of a negative nellie mindset which is not like me. Your post reminded me of how much my reaction does matter. Some days it is hard to remember. DD RAD is not of her own doing. I can't control her behaviors (only consequences and help to moderate) but I can control my response and mood. She may never change but I don't have to let RAD change my base personality.

shroon- Well, that was written late last night while they were all asleep. This morning everyone was falling apart, fighting and screaming. I was not fun to be around. I was trying to pack up bags( and bags and bags) of my late dh clothes to donate to a nursing home. I was supervising oldest rad as she worked on it with me. Otherwise she does a halfway job. I thought it would take an hour. It took all morning. I told the kids that they could each keep one or two of his shirts. So that became a fashion show with clothes thrown around. The guy who was going to pick them up never showed up.

My older adult  dd said she would watch the kids while I ran errands. I was ten minutes away from leaving and I asked one of the kids to go up to tell her. She answered that she was taking a nap since she thought I would take them all with me. Talk about lack of communication. So I told them all to get in the car. Then older adult dd came down and said I could leave any I wanted at home. No thanks, I was a martyr and took them. Fortunately oldest rad had a humdinger of a fit so she didn't get to go.

I could have spared myself a lot of this, but I had plans to do many things today. I was afraid that tomorrow would be a bad day from the chemo so I rushed around to get a lot of things done. I got little done, but I did get some things done that weren't in my plans at all, that ended up being more important. I ran into people who I hadn't seen in a long time and had a chance to really communicate with them. That was the best thing. I need to listen to the still, small voice or Holy Spirit when He is speaking to me. This morning i kept hearing that I should stop and read the bible, but I didn't listen. I ended up reading a little bit late at night. It wasn't much help.

MamaBee1,

I agree with shroon. You inspire me. I only have one RAD kid and you have 5 great weird kids. I pray for you daily and I know even on the bad days God is always there to keep you going. Very few of us could handle the stress and stuff you handle any better.

God Bless, HUGS!

Sherrie

Keep reading and asking God to give you peace and comfort.  You are strong! 

Thank you everyone. You encourage me.

MamaBee, I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. I've been off the boards for a while but this was one of the first posts I read when I logged back on. It sounds like you have a very healthy outlook on his passing, as well as your own challenges. You are an example to us all!  :sunny:

Thank you D. I am still doing okay.