bonding

[rosebud]

does anyone know a bonding expert. i am a foster mom to a 2 and a hlf year old boy whom i have had in my home for over 2 years. i have been trying to adopt him for over 5 months. the county wants to put him with another family. we go to trila on tuesday. can anyone offer anyone asap. thank  you

[blessingsindisguise]

greetings,

glad you found us.

I guess I would ask how it is in the child's best interests to disrupt him from the only family he has ever known.

Being pulled away from his 'mom' at this age to be placed in another home makes no sense to me.  You are mom all ready by being there for two years.

blessings

[ellasmom]

I would suggest you contact the  "Nancy Thomas" website and see if there is a therapist in your area, also try  'Brian Post" they are both therapists who specialize in attachment and bonding. I agree with Blessings why would they try and take him from the only home he has known? Can you ask this of the Social Worker? And is there a child advocate attorney you can work with?

Good luck, come back to this site any time and I hope we can be of some help.....our goal and bond here is to help heal our dear children who have been taken from their homes for what ever reason; we have literally devoted our lives to helping them heal and become happy, healthy productive members of society!

Welcome

Ellasmom

[Don M]

Welcome rosebud;
   Please check out two things at http://attach-china.org/ about the needs of an infant to form bonds and what happens if that is disrupted.

   I am assuming you have a strong mutual bond with this child, and therefore the main argument would have to be that disrupting that attachment could permanantly harm the child.  There are experts who can help, but they take time to contact and become familiar enough with the individual situation.  If the hearing Tuesday is not conclusive, post back here and maybe we can identify some ways to contact them.

TWO SPECIFIC ITEMS FROM ATTACH-CHINA.org:

Attaching to Your Newly Adopted Infant or Toddler -- this is a pamphlet you can download & print for others to see.

When the Bonding Cycle Is Broken -- This is an article you can print written by Dr. Gregory Keck and Regina Kupecky, describing the incremental damage done to an infant when not given proper care and love.

From Kentucky Social Services -- Foster Care Placement Moves and Attachment Issues by Lisa Mitchell, University of Kentucky

http://chfs.ky.gov/NR/rdonlyres/4C386246-B359-4CBA-8A46-1586F3257A14/0/2007FSFOSTER_CHILDREN_KINSHIP_CAREMItchell_Lisa.pdf

NOTE -- The outcome of this particular study is not as clear as the researcher would like to have found, and the conclusion/recommendations therefore are somewhat weak.  You may want to look at the bibliography (references) and see if one of them would serve the purpose more effectively.  I am at this point only looking at Internet free information.  Some others here may be able to get text of articles out of medical or education journals.

   There is very strong evidence that moving children from one family to another is always disruptive, but even more so when they have formed loving relationships in a good home.  Please look for other sources, and try to make sure you have a lawyer representing your interest in keeping this child safe from such a disruption.

   These three sources can be entered as background reading to the case, or you may find others that better fit your situation.  Some states recognize that moving young children is almost always traumatic, so they offer foster parents first chance at adoption when a child becomes legally freed from the prior parents.