Prayers requested

[Truebluemom]

Sorry it's so difficult Neitling.  Hoping it gets better.

[NWMom]

Just saw this and am praying.
NW

[clbmom]

Still thinking of you... Hoping things improve soon - in whatever ways you would like.

So sorry youre having to go through all this!

[anne]

Prayers from here.  Any news on how things are going?
 
anne

[neitlingme]

Just found out this afternoon that MIL's surgery (double-possibly triple bypass with a stent) will be tomorrow at 11am.  Please foward prayers for her to make it through then have a uneventful recovery!  She's 84 but in otherwise good health.

As for the family...UGH.

Bunch of pooh.

Why can't people get along?  Why do they insist on being "in charge" when they aren't?  I swear my DH's family is ALL RAD at times like these. 

SO...we are in contact by phone only until things return to normal...or close to it.   We have access to the dr's and nurses...so we should be informed in good speed.

[blessingsindisguise]

Praying for all my friend!

blessings

[Truebluemom]

(((((((((((Neitling)))))))))))))

Hate the drama!

[neitlingme]

Well, she's out of surgery...and resting...still under anesthesia though.

Her surgery went from 11am to 5pm.  No one in DH's family called us when she got out of surgery.  Thank you that the nurses in the hospital were kind enough to tell us when we called.   

Now she's gone through the surgery the hard part is coming up.  She's going to need a lot of care for the next few months to a year.  She's used to doing it all on her own...and she's going to have to pony up and ask for a lot of help.  A lot of help. 

Now if only the family would pull together rather than pull apart....

Please keep up the prayers.  We are all under tremendous stress.

[blessingsindisguise]

Oh neitlingme, saying so many prayers for you and your family!

blessings

[Truebluemom]

Continuing to pray.  (((((((((Neitling)))))))))     Wish we could sit down and share a cup or two.

[justine]

(((Neitlingme)))    Would she be able to go to a rehab hosp or the "swing bed" of a nursing home for 2-3 weeks.?  Usually medicare will pay for a 21 day stay if pt needs it and sometimes it is extended after a few weeks.  Especially if she lives alone or is unable to get to bathroom/shower etc once she gets home.    

Has to be arranged BEFORE she leaves hospital though and usually its a matter of just calling the unit she's on and asking for the casemanager (all pts usually have one, they are the SW's who do the discharge planning/paperwork even if patient is going straight home.)   They also order any equipment (bed side commode, walker).    You or DH can just request they look into a short rehab stay and the casemanager can take it from there, talk to doctor, MIL, family present etc.  They do this everyday so they'll know what to do and take the stress off of you.  Of course, MIL has to be willing...but sometimes it just takes a few days for pt to see how high their needs are...

If that info only added to your stress level, sorry!    Maybe pass it on to DH.  Please take care.

[neitlingme]

Justine,

Knowledge never adds to stress in my case.  It helps me fight it!

Thanks you.  I have experience with this myself (when I was POA for my dad) but had forgotten in the emotional stress of it all about the sw on each case!  You are absolutely right.  I will pass this info on to DH.

I'd feel much better knowing she had a rehab or swing bed set up.  Everyone in the family is doing the "I can't care for her longterm, song and dance."  Makes me cringe and worry someday that "attitude" could be about me.  I didn't hesitate when my dad needed me...but maybe I'm odd.  I gave up a house and put a lot of stress on a new marriage in asking DH to move here and allow me to care for my dad full time.  DH didn't hesitate and moved, he, himself, providing a lot of the care my dad needed.  But that was before kids...

Now I have to think of the kids first.  I would be willing to have her move in with us, but I don't think that's what she wants.  I think she wants to keep her home (yes, she lives alone).  But, I'm not sure that will be possible with what her needs will be.  I know she won't be able to keep it up as she has in the past...

I just hope they figure something out soon...so everyone can focus on the important part, my MIL getting well!!!

Thanks for the prayers.  We definitely still need them! 

[clbmom]

Well, having had the pleasure of meeting your DH and you in person and knowing where you come from, I can surely see you two stepping right up to the plate, but I hope, for your sakes, you can get that swing/rehab bed.  I'm a hospital atty - call Case Management now and get them working with her docs on this now if you can.  Key is MIL needs "a safe discharge plan," "assistance with medications & all activities of daily living" and "family unable to meet needs at home."

Thinking of you....

[neitlingme]

Thanks Clb,

After meeting you in person...I was going to PM you after DH and I collected our thoughts and such.  Probably still will...

DH's former SIL is handling a lot for us, she's a nurse and familiar with some of the drill too.  She's trying to help with a rehab...  I just wish it would settle.

I will ask DH to call the hospital tomorrow after he wakes up.  (He's on the road currently) Hopefully he'll be able to get a discharge plan in place.  Our house really is a last resort.  I know MIL wouldn't be comfortable here.  In the 15 years DH and I have been married my MIL has never been to our home.  She's just the uncomfortable sort...I've learned to accept it...she doesn't mean ill by it, she's just an odd bird.  I still love her.

Thanks for the wonderful advice.  It's really helping me feel more grounded.

[blessingsindisguise]

neitlingme,

Praying for you!

clbmom,

House counsel at a hospital?  Being a nurse I always attend how to chart and stay out of trouble classes put on by attorneys!  Also probably one of the few nurses I know that have read my state boards entire 'scope of practice' document.

Has saved my tuchus more than once!
 
Had a physician one time ask me to do something and I literally looked down at my name badge where it said RN, BSN and then I pointed to her badge where it said MD and asked her if she knew she could not delegate that particular task?  She had never been told no before, and I was polite about it, but gracious.  So not interested in practicing medicine without a license!

blessings