Court tomorrow

[justine]

Glad to hear Ma.   Pa's story is all too common, I hear. 

 You know, when my mother was leaving us/dieing last Spring FIVE of my mom's kids were involved in her care and decision making.  FIVE...and everyone wanted a say! (The only one missing was my sweet sister with Down's who passed away the year before.)  My mother went from vibrant, slightly confused and living independently to passing away peacefully over a months time. 

We had such excruciating decisions to make as we watched her life change so drastically.   Through it all, we kept having to have meetings with the doctors, hospital case workers etc.  I have never been prouder of my siblings as each and every time, we all agreed quickly on what was best for mom.

One day, the question was tube feedings vs letting mom have her way...no food, no water, her words, "I'm done now."   During the meeting, the hospital social worker leaned back, sighed heavily and just looked at us.  (four of us in the room, our brothers wishes on the table...all agreeing to let her go.)

I asked her if it was unusual that we all agreed like this.  She said, "Its almost unheard of.  Not with such a large family...."   I give my mom all the credit.  She raised us to look out for one another.   My brother was terribly ill at the time.   He passed away five months later.  It was such a blessing to watch his own five kids, much younger than us, rally round and stayed with him two at a time during his last few weeks.   They spent alot of time visiting us when my mom, their grandmother was ill, and I like to think that our unspoken example moved them.  They individually have some personal problems, but at that time, they worked TOGETHER and gave their dad a wonderful few weeks.

I guess I'm rambling again....but I hate that Pa has to go through this.   I know how good it can be.   I hope at least ONE of his sisters wakes up and helps to pull the others together WITH Pa.   

Thanks for the update Ma.   Forgive my ramblings.  (I miss my mom.... )

[Nina16]

Justine: You are truly one of the lucky ones. You must have one special family. When my mom died two years ago, I was left as POA. I tried to please everyone and and I pleased no one. I got called all kinds of names and I cried a lot. My one brother has not seen my dad since Mom died (Dad was placed in a nursing home after Mom died, he has dementia). That brother has not talked to me either for two years. I do talk to the other 3 siblings,  but there are hurt feelings. I am the only one that visits Dad on a consistent bases. One sister lives a few miles from the home and she always has excuses for not seeing him. We are a sad munch.

[MissB]

Ma and Pa, I am so sorry you are going through additional stress and drama.  You both are such good people.

Yes, raising a Radish does make a person prepared for some of the hardest of life's situations.

[Cher]

Justine: You are truly one of the lucky ones. You must have one special family. When my mom died two years ago, I was left as POA. I tried to please everyone and and I pleased no one. I got called all kinds of names and I cried a lot. My one brother has not seen my dad since Mom died (Dad was placed in a nursing home after Mom died, he has dementia). That brother has not talked to me either for two years. I do talk to the other 3 siblings,  but there are hurt feelings. I am the only one that visits Dad on a consistent bases. One sister lives a few miles from the home and she always has excuses for not seeing him. We are a sad munch.

I was in the same boat.

Mom with Alzheimers, left me alone on the POA.
I have only 1 sibling, though............a twin brother.
The minute I moved our mom to live with me, he stopped all caring about  her and I both.
Lots of hurt feelings that I took her.  (but a very different reason than yours)
Needless to say, he never spoke to her or I in her remaining years (8/2003 to death 4/2008).

And WE are no longer siblings.  My family now lies with these folks and my motorcycle club; other than my DH of course.

[anne]

Been praying and so glad that things are working out in the way that would honour Pa's Mom.
 
anne

[Kathleenb]

Thanks for the update!

[Truebluemom]

Glad to hear you are getting support from the courts Pa and Ma.  Sure wish it could go better with the siblings!

[MaKettle]

We went back to court again Monday & met the new guardian on Tuesday.  I will now be allowed to visit my MIL as will her grandchildren.   

This is exhausting.

[TeriPDX]

Keeping you lifted in prayer.   

[Jeannie]

Incredible that you have to go to court to get permission to visit your MIL!  I'm so glad that you're getting somewhere with these issues, though.

(((((Ma & Pa)))))

[Truebluemom]

Glad you are making progress, Ma and Pa.  Hoping this will take care of the legal end of things.

[MaKettle]

I wish...  We still have mediation, an evidentiary hearing & 1 (possibly 2) trials.  The attorney expects Pa's trial to last 3 days.  In the meantime the temp. guardianship letter will have to be extended (again) - which Pa's sisters will object to (again.)

[bijou]

Praying for you all.  What a difficult situation to be in.

[MissB]

(((((Ma & Pa))))))

[Truebluemom]

Blech!   

Wishing Pa had been an only child.